One of my assistant principals is the pastor of a church in Montgomery, and he had previously invited me to visit his church. When the assignment was made, I immediately thought of him and his church. I asked him about it in passing, and his face lit up. He seemed as excited about the possibility of my visiting as I was.

So, this morning, I taught my class at my church, and then I jumped in the van and drove down to Montgomery to visit my coworker’s church. I will end up writing up the experience for the class, and when I do, I will focus on the experience as a whole. Tonight, I am focusing on one particular aspect - the fact that I was blessed with the opportunity to see a coworker, a man that I have known for the past year, in a whole new light. There are several images that I will never forget.

Anderson smiling as he visited with his church members before the service. At school, he has to wear his assistant principal hat. Whether he is dealing with students or with faculty members, he must constantly wear the hat of an administrator. The role of pastor is quite different, and I am glad I got to see him as he reached out to those he shepherds.

Anderson speaking with the children about light and darkness. Since several of the kids either lost power or had it blink off and on during the storms last night, the time was perfect to talk about living a forgiven life as walking in the light versus walking in darkness. My favorite part of this scene was watching Anderson as he hugged each of the children, smiling and laughing the entire time.

Anderson as he preached. Considering the communication skills I had already observed, I wasn’t surprised at all by his eloquence or passion. I was, however, blessed and challenged by it.

Anderson as he stood by a young man. There was a young man who responded to the invitation, coming forward and sitting in a chair as one of the elders of the church stood beside him. Anderson came around, knelt by the young man, and shared with him quietly. There is no way I can accurately describe the look on his face as he stood beside the young man with his arm around his shoulders and his head bowed, but I am glad I witnessed it.

Anderson as he stood with his arms outstretched, praying a benediction over the congregation. ‘Nuff said.

Prior to this morning, I knew that Anderson was a follower of Christ and a pastor, but that knowledge was theoretical. Today, I got to see it being fleshed out. Today, I was able to see a totally different side of a man whose office is just two doors down.

I was blessed by what I saw.

Dear Mr. Vernon,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong, but we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain… and a criminal… and a basket case… a princess… and an athlete. Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

the Breakfast Club

This weekend, my bride and I decided to watch a couple of older movies. We started with an absolute classic -Breakfast Club. Sure, it might not rank up there with Ben Hur or Casblanca, but for any child of the eighties, this movie ranks right up there with Sixteen Candles or Ghostbusters.

As we watched it, I began to realize that there were some deep reasons why I truly love this movie.

This unlikely group experiences true community. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t having Bible study over coffee at St. Arbuck’s or anything, but they still experienced deep community. They sat together and honestly shared their hurts, their fears, and their frustrations. They opened up to one another and ran the risk of being mocked, ridiculed, or rejected. But for that one Saturday morning, they took off their masks and got real with one another.

They said tough things to one another. On more than one occasion when one of the characters stepped out of line, one of the others would step up and speak truth. Sometimes the truth was spoken lovingly, other times it was spoken harshly, but sometimes the truth needs to be spoken boldly. This group didn’t sit around and blow sunshine up one another’s skirts - they challenged each other.

They saw the potential in one another. One of my favorite scenes is toward the end of the movie. Claire (the preppy little princess) sees the potential for beauty in Allison (the basket case). She takes her aside, brushes her hair out of her face, helps her put on a little make-up… and voila, the beauty of Ally Sheedy is revealed.

Who would have thought that John Hughes film from 1985 would inspire me in such a manner? Who would have thought that it had the potential to remind me of what we have been created for?

See, I believe we have been created to live in community. We have been created to live life without the masks we so carefully construct instead of being being brutally transparent and open with one another. Sometimes that openness requires brutal honesty in return. We must be willing to call one another out on the lies that we sometimes choose to conveniently accept as truths. And we must be willing to look beyond the surface to see the potential in others and then do all that we can to bring that potential to the surface.

Who would have thought that John Hughes would remind me of the kingdom of God as it is supposed to be?

I have been challenged by this man and his words. The fact is, all of us will one day die… but some of us never truly begin to live. To quote Thoreau,

“…I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”

Pausch had the privilege of knowing that the end was near. My father-in-law did as well. (He was diagnosed with cancer and lived eleven months before dying. He was only expected to make it for six.) Some of us will get a diagnosis, but for others, death will come quickly without warning and without asking for our permission.

Because of this, I encourage you… don’t leave anything unsaid. Don’t leave anything undone.

I would write more, but I am going to hug my kids.

P.S. - I have excerpts from the video over there to the right. Check it out if you haven’t already seen it.

I was handling this video just fine… until Piper took me somewhere I didn’t want to go. Then it got a bit too real for me. What do you think?

My Jesus

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

‘Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land?
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand?

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow?
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here
Would you walk right by on the other side
Or fall down and worship at His holy feet?

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part?
Sometimes I doubt we’d recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He’d prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I’m tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I’m not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?

I want to be like my Jesus

P.S. I want to believe that He would be accepted at my church.

Back in May, my bride and I took the girls to visit another church. Miranda actually posted that day, and her words pretty much summed up the experience.  Two weeks later, she really poured her heart out.

That first Sunday, the pastor spoke about bitterness in relationships. I realized something that morning, and I shared it with Miranda that afternoon. The fact is I am a forgiving person by my very nature. I am not bragging or anything - it is simply the way I am wired. Bragging about it would make as much sense as bragging about my having blue eyes… I never chose to be a forgiving person, God just made me that way. I am not one to harbor resentment toward a person. That Sunday, I realized that I had grown very bitter with the church as a whole. I had been repeatedly hurt by the church,and I was sick and tired of dealing with it. I have proven myself adept at forgiving people, but how the heck was I supposed to forgive the church as a whole?

As I shared all of this with my bride, she listened patiently before responding. “You know, if God used Jack to show you all of this, maybe Jack is the one that you need to talk to about it. Why don’t you call him?” I agreed it was a good idea, but I wasn’t really gung-ho about it.

It turned out that I didn’t have to be. The next night, Jack called me. (I guess that is what I deserved for filling out a visitor’s card, huh?) We ended up getting together for breakfast, and he listened to me as I poured out my heart, my hurt, my frustrations. Rather than critically point out my obvious flaws and shortcomings, he just befriended me. That first breakfast, Jack told me, “You know what I think you need? I think you just need to go to a place where you can be loved… where you and your family can just have a positive experience in church for a change. I would love for our church to be that place, and maybe it can be. If it can’t be, maybe I can help you find it.”

That first breakfast lead to another, and each Sunday, my family kept going back to that church. It has turned into weekly thing now, and Monday mornings are one of my favorite times of the week because I get to have breakfast with my friend.

This past Sunday, we bit the bullet. Six months ago, I was almost ready to blow off the institutionalized American church for keeps. I had had enough, but Jack was right. We needed a place where we could have a positive experience, and we found it.

Thanks, Jack.

The birth experience was traumatic, and if my bride were willing, she could share it in schools as a means of preventing teenage pregnancy. But once the child was here… the adventure began.

I remember watching as they cleaned her up. It took a while, but she started to look less like a lizard and more like a baby. I remember counting fingers and toes and checking to make sure that everything was in the right place. I started at the top of her little cone-shaped head and worked my way down. When I reached her toes, I noticed that she had toes like mine.

All my life, the middle toe on my left foot has had a tendency to rest beneath the bigger toe right next to it. When I was little, my mother called it my bashful toe and told me that it was just a little shy. To be honest, I had not thought about that toe being bashful for years before that day five years ago.

As a I gazed at my perfect daughter, I noticed that the middle toe on her left foot was a little bit bashful… it was trying to hide beneath the bigger toe right next to it. Seeing it made me smile just little bigger.

We took that little girl to Birmingham this morning. She got to go to the Build a Bear Workshop where she made a pink poodle who is now wearing pink pajamas and sleeping in a pink bed. I am not sure where the past five years went, but I don’t have a baby anymore. I have a little girl…

… a little girl with a bashful toe on her left foot.

For the past nine months or so, our family has found ourselves at a crossroads. At various points, we would take steps in a certain direction only to return to the crossroads. We desperately long to be a part of a community of faith, but at the same time, we want to make sure that we are part of the right body of faith for us. So many things are weighed as we consider where God wants us to invest in others as well as have others pour into our lives.

First of all, let me make it clear that we are not merely approaching this as mere consumers. We are not looking for a church in the same way that someone might be looking for a new place to shop for groceries. We are looking for a place where we can give completely of ourselves, but at the same time, my family has needs. As the spiritual leader of my family, I must make sure that we are in a place where those needs are going to be met.

So what all have we considered? In no particular order, we have considered the following:

Doctrine. I am a mutt of sorts, I suppose. I was reared in a Southern Baptist home by Southern Baptist parents. In high school, I became part of a Methodist youth group, and in college, I was part of a Presbyterian collegiate ministry. I was ordained as a Southern Baptist minister, and I have served numerous Baptist churches. My most recent church was non-denominational, but it is heavily influenced by the Assemblies of God.

I share all of this so that you will know that I know what I believe, and I know why I believe it. There are certain places where I know that I am not a good fit; my DNA doesn’t match that of the church. There are many wonderful churches in the metro Montgomery area, but because of my personal belief system, they are not a good match for me.

Church Structure. There are many contemporary churches in this area, and even more churches who are trying to be contemporary. The problem is, I think many of them are Church 2.0, and I am looking for Church 3.0. I am borrowing from Mark Driscoll, so let me explain the terms as he uses them.

Church 1.0 would be the church of my childhood. This would be a church born of a different era, more modern than post-modern. The choir wore their robes, and we all sang along from our hymnals as Miss Hilda played the organ. The pastors were viewed as as servants and teachers. This church expected a privileged place in society as a whole. The concept of missions was that we would send Americans and American dollars overseas through major denominations and associations. According to Mark Driscoll, approximately 40% of all church worshippers attended this type of model in 1906, but by the turn of the millenium, less than 16% did. Why? Because a transition had occurred.

At some point, we began a transition towards Church 2.0. (We could argue over when this began, but really… what’s the point?) This church model proclaims itself as contemporary and seeker-sensitive. The cultural context is somewhat different than Church 1.0… it is neither modern nor post-modern. Instead, it is in the valley between the crests of those two waves.
A cultural war is being waged to attempt to reclaim the lost power, prestige, and influence. Pastors are viewed as CEOs, and the church services recycle 80’s and 90’s pop culture through music and drama in an attempt to reach out to seekers. The concept of missions also changed, and instead of funding overseas work through denominations and associations, missions is now handled by a department within the church that organizes trips.

In this area, there are plenty of Church 1.0 models and even some Church 2.0 models. The problem is, my heart is crying out for something more… I am longing for Church 3.0. So how is it different, you might ask.

Well, for starters, it is emerging and missional. By emerging, I mean that it is not yet… but it is coming to be. As I understand it, missional means that the church has an incredible, passionate love for Christ, a relentless love for the faith family, and is in tune with the culture which surrounds it. It realizes that its cultural context is post-modern and pluralistic. It realizes that its place in culture has been marginalized. Pastors view themselves as local missionaries, and they are viewed that way by the church as a whole. Missions are both local and global. (Mark uses the term “glocal” to describe this… I like it!)

My frustration? I am not sure that a church like this exists in this area. I know they exist… I know of many, throughout the nation. The problem is, none are within driving distance of Millbrook.

Enough now… more later.

One afternoon as we were walking along the heart of London, not far from Piccadilly Circus and the major shopping areas, I noticed something that I had only seen one other time since I had been in London. Standing on a street corner was a man who was passionately preaching to everybody and yet nobody in particular. Having been raised in the buckle of the Bible belt, I felt compelled to stop and listen. After all, you can’t just ignore the preacher, can you? That day, I listened only briefly as I flowed along with the rest of the human traffic.

During the portion that I overheard, the man seemed to be speaking truth. He pointed out that each and every one of us must die, and after that, we come face to face with our very Creator. He shared that Jesus did not come into the world to send anyone to Hell but to save all those who would listen. He reminded those who might be hearing his words that there is one God, and there is one mediator between man and God… Jesus Christ.

At this point, I became distracted. A rather tall man became very irate with what the street preacher was sharing. He didn’t become irate enough to stop; however, as he stood waiting for the light to change, he shouted back at the street preacher, “Stupid Americans! Go back home with your Jesus!” He continued on with his tirade, but the light had changed, so I didn’t hear him as he was walking away from me at a steady pace. (For the record, I didn’t notice that the street preacher had an American accent, so I think it is curious that the irate listener assumed that he was an American. He didn’t sound like one to me.)

Several things stand out to me about this experience that lasted less than a minute.

First of all, I agree completely with the content of the message. That street preacher spoke truths that day, truths that are simultaneously ancient and relevant. His message was one of love, of compassion. If asked, I am sure he could have backed up his words using the scriptures contained in the large black Bible that he was waving around. So could I.

While I agree with the message, I have to admit that his method is somewhat troublesome. I don’t know, maybe he has had great results on that street corner. Maybe on other days, many have stopped to listen. Perhaps he has had the opportunity to pray with countless people from countless nations. For some reason, I kind of doubt it. The only reaction I saw was one of annoyance and anger. The only man who responded was repelled after his encounter rather than attracted to the Savior the street preacher spoke of.

Is the street preacher responsible for the way people react? Of course he isn’t. He is only responsible for being true to the calling that he believes is placed on his heart. Let me be sure to state here that I am not judging the street preacher, nor am I questioning his calling. God Himself may have spoken from a burning bush with instructions for this guy… it wouldn’t be the first time. And God has called many men to do many things that have been considered foolish.

I just happen to think that if the street preacher was called to reach those around him with the good news, he could have picked a better method. The message is timeless, but the methods are not. Perhaps in another time or another place, preaching on a street corner would bring about positive results for the cause of Christ. I am not sure that is the case today.

I know that during my time in London, I made one friend whom I have already mentioned here. I showed an interest in Dalia because I genuinely was interested in her… it wasn’t hard to fake. I talked with her because I wanted to know her better. During a few short days, our lives intersected. I opened up about my life with her, and she shared about her life as well. As a result, I think she probably cares more about my thoughts on Christ than any one of the listeners of the street preacher. Why? Because she knows that I care about her as an individual.

So what is my point? Well, for starters, I think relationships are crucial. If you are a believer and you intend to have an impact on your world, you need to start loving people. Open up your lives, your homes, your hearts. Not so that you can win them over to your side, not so that you can take them to Sunday School, and not so that you can take them to fill up your pew on Bring a Friend to Church Day. Love them simply because it is the thing that you are called to do… you remember that little commandment that Jesus said was the biggest… “Love God and love people.” Love them purely, with no hidden motives. As you do so, you will have many opportunities to share with them the eternal truths that have impacted your life, and because of your love and concern for them, you will have credibility.

Secondly, be willing to compromise your methods. The message is timeless, but the methods aren’t. The world is a changing place, and if the church wants to reach the world, the church needs to change as well. Many of our churches are stuck somewhere in the 1950’s. Others label themselves contemporary and think they are trendy, but many of them are stuck in the 1980’s. You have to respect the Amish. At least they are honest when they say that they prefer the methods of a different era. The American church is like the Amish in denial. We think we are riding the wave of relevance, but all too often, we simply aren’t.

So what methods should the church embrace? To be honest, I am still working that one out. I am not really sure about what the church is called to do, but I am fairly confident about what I am called to do.

Love God and love people. In the end, isn’t that what matters most anyway?

Back at the beginning of September, I resigned from a bi-vocational ministry position. I had been on staff with the church for over a year and a half, but we definitely knew that God was leading us away from the church. We had prayed for months that He would show us which direction to go, but God answered by showing us how rather than where.

Since then, we have been trying to find the right church to attend. We have visited some, but we have been more successful at ruling out possibilities than we have at finding viable ones. I was only halfway joking when I implied that the problem might, in fact, be ours. Maybe we have expectations that truly are too high.

So, what do we expect you ask? I am not sure how well I can define that answer, but I will try.

Honesty, openess, & transparency. This is a huge deal to me. I don’t have my crap together, and I don’t really want to pretend like I do. I have no desire to be a part of a community of faith that makes it a habit of putting on their masks of worship each Sunday as they continue to grow in their ministry of appearances.

Seeker-friendly, not seeker-oriented. I think that the church needs to be evangelistic in nature and that the services need to be open and inviting. I am afraid that by making the worship services all about the seeker, we are neglecting to feed the flock that has gathered. Personally, I believe that people will be drawn towards real people who are authentically worshipping their God. If the church is all about bells and whistles, smoke and mirrors, then the church will be certain to grow… for a while. But what happens when the church down the road has better smoke and shinier mirrors? The church is not meant to be a place of mere entertainment.

Challenges. I have no desire to listen to a self-help talk with a little Jesus thrown in to make it spiritual enough for church. I recently found an excerpt from a book by Brennan Manning online, and in it, he said:

Consider how our churches have explored and exploited our need to replace the numbness in our lives with a passion for something, anything. We’ve created worship in which music is meant to stir the emotions but the soul is left unmoved, in which the words spoken are little more than manipulations of the heart. We have created cathartic experiences filled with weeping and dancing in the Spirit that leaves us with the sense that we have touched God but that fail to give us the sense that God has touched us. We run to churches where the message feels good and where we feel energized and uplifted–but never challenged or convicted. “It is not surprising that spiritual experiences are mushrooming all over the place and have become highly sought-after commercial items,” writes Henri Nouwen. “Many people flock to places and persons who promise intensive experiences of togetherness, cathartic emotions of exhilaration and sweetness, and liberating sensations of rapture and ecstasy. In our desperate need for fulfillment and our restless search for the experience of divine intimacy, we are all too prone to construct our own spiritual events.”

Community. My heart longs to be a part of a community of faith that is open and accepting, where people accept one another for who they are and where they are… where people are committed to sharing life’s journey together.

Maybe my expectations are too high… but I don’t think so.

Note: None of the expectations here are intended to be interpreted as a criticism of any one church. The fact is, in each church we have visited, people have been ministered to, and in each, people are finding their needs met. However, these were not the places for the Andress family. Not because we are better or have an inside track into the mind of God when it comes to what the church in the 21st century should be, but simply because we are the sum total of all of experiences. All of our yesterdays have made us who we are today and who we will be tomorrow… and they have put us in the place where it seems like the right church for us is going to be a difficult one to find.